For today’s post I felt most inspired by recent events and last album from Alessia Cara, so hold yourself, take a deep breath and enjoy the ride.
Let me start by telling you that growing up sucks! Don’t do it. Having responsibilities is too much pressure. I’m being over-dramatic in this case, but I have to be honest this week has been a though one. Finally, I’ve realized that life is not simple, well it took me a while to accept it. I remember the days when I used to wake up and my only thought was “How am I supposed to beat the next dungeon in ‘Zelda: Twilight Princess’?” That was it but now, I wake up and first though is “How am I going to pay for next month’s college tuition?”.
Having to look for a job that will actually provide me just enough to pay for my tuition and other expenses it’s hard. Not to mention that will also allow me to dedicate time for homework, projects and physical exercise. This is such a pain in the … Moving on, I learned the hard way that life’s going to be like that sometimes. I wish everything was giving to me in silver spoon but how will I learn the value of I don’t do it by myself. I’m not saying that if you don’t work and you don’t pay for your tuition, you’re a spoiled, ungrateful, brat, no that’s not my point. Now more than ever I appreciate the sacrifices my parents have done to provide me all the things that I have, the things they had to stop doing just to pay for my education, the things they had to start doing to have enough just to feed me and my brothers.
Now is my turn to grow up and learn from their mistakes. They surely did their best job raising me. I’m a good person or at least that’s what I think, not perfect of course but in certain way a good one. I’ve learned that if I want it, I had to do it by my own, sweat it out and fight for it. Nothing it’ll ever be handed to me. They’ll be days maybe even weeks (like this one) that are going to be awful, the worst ones, but it won’t last, there will be bright days, when you’ll feel like everything is going to be okay. Live one day at a time. There’s absolutely no pressure to have everything figured it out in this moment of your life. I know now. I have faith that I’m in the right place, whatever I’m supposed to do I’ll be sure of doing it. I have to prepare myself for what’s to come, because when the time is right, I’ll be ready.
I love the song ‘Growing Pains’ by Alessia Cara, the lyrics in the pre-chorus there’s a part that says:
“I guess the bad can get better, gotta be wrong before it’s right, every happy phrase engraved in my mind and I’ve always been a go-getter”
I’ll stick to that. I’m a go-getter and I have hunger for more than this provincial life, Belle said. I am not going to aspire for less than what this world can offer me. Growing is such a weird feeling, in my opinion is a lonely process, self-discovering, the perfect time to make mistakes, learn from them and, if wise, avoid doing them again. I truly enjoy the previous song mentioned, there’s this other part where she says:
“Starting to look like Ms. Know-it-all, can’t take her own advice, can’t find pieces of peace of mind, I cry more than I want to admit but I can’t lie to myself, to anyone … Used monsters as an excuse to lie awake now the monsters are the ones that I have to face. No band-aids for the growing pains”
How funny the monsters I used to fear were so unreal werewolves, vampires, ghosts, the boogie-man, etc. Now they have turned into insecurities, anxiety, debts, failure. These are the monsters I know have to face. Someone I heard once said
“A person who doesn’t takes risks, has not lived at all”
I don’t want to have regrets when I look back to these years when I was young. I want to say that I owned every second that this world could give, that I saw so many places and all the things that I did, that with every broken bone I swear I lived.
The pains of growing, there ain’t band aids for them and you can’t avoid them. They are part of life, of being human, and it sucks but you’ll love it.