I saw a ghost today, and she was texting, talked to me. A ghost from the past, someone that used to be dead. I thought was buried but it reappeared and came back from the dead. Pursuing me, bringing old memories from an old chapter. Guess I did not properly close it. I promised during that time that all decisions were final and there was no turning back. It is hard being committed to a decision that hurts. I broke up with a friend, and I guess those kind of break ups are harder than the ones we have with someone we are romantically involved. Breaking up with a friend, what is that? It is unpleasant to think how close you used to be and realize that now they are just somebody that you used to know. Back then I crafted a poem that I never posted. I think is ready to see the light and present a closure to unfinished business. Please enjoy:
I know you are lying, I known it since you told me everything without telling anything. I know you are lying because I can sense there is something wrong when I look in your yes. I know you are lying because you cannot make up a good lie. You seek attention, and it bothers me so much that you think you need to lie to get mine. If there is something, I cannot stand is a lie, dishonesty is disgusting. What is the point? Things will never be the same. You really messed up this time and there is no way back. I do not want to have anything to do with you anymore. I do not need your toxicity; I do not need asking myself if what you’re telling me is the truth and you’re in pain or if you enjoy seeing how much I worry about you. I am done with whatever you are up to. I know you are lying and even though I know I let you lie to me. Maybe the attention I focus to you, you do not receive from the people that you are supposed to receive it from. I saw your potential, and I was rooting for you, wanted you to grow but you cannot save someone who does not want to be saved. So, I am picking up my luggage, walk away until I get home again.
I appreciate the time we were together. All the lessons you taught me, the books you gave me, the laughs we shared, the good and the bad moments. Thank you for all of that. I never held any grudge against you, sure I was pissed but I never wished anything bad on you. I have my limits, though, and you had so many opportunities to come clean, so many. Our friendship reached a point where I was no longer comfortable being in. I dared you to keep lying, and you took on the challenge. I am sorry it had to be like this, but it would have been cruel for me to not be honest about my feelings. I could not stand being disloyal to me, that was my limit one that I promised I will never cross.
For a moment in time, I forgot that you existed and seeing your name again brought a lot of feelings. I still hope you got the help that you needed. That you are in an exceptional place even though we are no longer part of each other’s life. I hope all the hate, doubt and insecurities are gone. That you ceased feeling unworthy of love because nobody deserves to feel like that. I wish things got better with your family; I wish that your heart is filled with joy and wish that you are happy. Of all the things I wish that you are fortunate, in good terms with yourself and in peace. Wherever you are I wish you love.