Too Good

I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to say it. Just the way it is, and I don’t want to say I’m sorry cause I’m not. I find it hard for me to find the right words, sometimes it’s hard for me being upfront. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, so I rather swallow mine. However, I think enough is enough and last night… I think I lost my patience. Last night I came to a realization, I just hope you can take it. I’m too good to you; I’m way too good to you. You took my love for granted and I just don’t understand it. Don’t think for a second that this is coming out of nowhere you know damn well it’s been months like this. I can’t talk to you; I can’t count on you, I can’t. You’re always busy and that’s fine, I’m busy too. I also have a life, responsibilities but I always make sure to make time for the people I love. Even when I don’t have time, I somehow make time. I care for my relationships; I am selective with the people I surround myself with and don’t let just anybody in. We were supposed to be in this together. There used to be three people I would call when something good or bad has happened in my life, the important stuff you know. Now I can only count with two and yes, they’re not perfect but regardless of that they’ve been there for me. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I was the only one putting an effort. If I didn’t call you, you would’ve never found that I was in the worst place that I could’ve ever been. It took me five days thinking whether or not I should call you. I was in pain, and I felt like my whole world was over, falling out and it felt like you didn’t care at all. Many months walking in uncertainty. You never checked up on me, asked me how I was doing. So please keep on showing me how little you care, and I’ll show you how little I care.

I’m not asking for you to talk to me every day cause that doesn’t work for me too. I don’t want you to call me only when you need me and feel sad. Cause even though I’ll be there for you it feels like I’m just being used. Like if I was a tissue to clean up your tears just to be thrown away. It’s frustrating feeling this way, waiting for you to care. It’s hard to believe when you say that you care for me and love me when your actions are contrary to your words. Cause if you cared you would’ve invested time; you would’ve supported me. I don’t expect for everyone to show up here, but I expected more from you. We’ve been through a lot, and I’ve been there for you, through the good, the bad and the worst. I’ve been there, I’ve answered the phone, returned the messages. Now my heart is broken, and I’m crying on the floor and every part of me hopes you would return my call, to check up on me. Yes, I’m sad and yes things have changed. I know my priorities and now they’re different. It’s been many years since we’ve been together, I’m looking forward to many more. I couldn’t picture my life without you. You are important, and I still love you. I haven’t given up on us. I’ve been taken for granted; I was hurt but just because it hurts doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I guess it’s because I love you it hurts so much. Take it as a wake-up call. There’s still time to mend what’s been broken, wounds can heal, don’t let them scar.

It can’t end like this; we got to take time with this. I want to tell you my secrets; I want to have adventures, dance and laugh with you. Don’t take my love for granted. Don’t you dare for a minute think that you are not important to me because you are. What you and I have is special. I don’t define or compare my relationships with others based on the years we’ve known each other. I don’t ask for more than what I can give, but this is a team and lately you just make me work too hard for you. We are supposed to share the load, not expecting that the other will just carry on for the both of us. I know my value; I know my worth but… do you know it? I don’t expect to tell you what to do, I’ve shared my feelings and thoughts. Now is up to you, what are you going to do? Don’t let me go, don’t give up on us. I want us to go back to being close.

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