for good

Sometimes I found myself confused when I think about my relationship towards the people around me. I’ve been told that love is a decision and leaving is easier than staying, but I’m not sure that’s the whole truth. I believe each situation is different from the other, and you can’t judge anyone for the decisions that they take if you haven’t found yourself in their position. There isn’t a guide on how to do things the right way, and everyone has been taught different morals. We always have a choice, and the thing is, if you want to be truly happy you must be sure of the choices you make. Regret is an appalling waste of energy. I try living my life by this, try not to hold on to the past and move forward to a brighter future. I’ve been through a lot; if things are good, they are wonderful, if things have been bad, it’s just an experience, what’s another life lesson? People often come and go, which I’ve gathered from dating a lot of boys is the things I don’t want in my partner. Many of them have taught me the characteristics of the man that I don’t want to be with, and they’ve also taught me good things as well. Not all is good, not all is bad. What I want to remark is that people come and go. It’s the way that life operates. During our whole life we will meet a handful of people from a variety of places, different backgrounds, social circles, etc. some people will stay for a long time with you; people that are only meant to stay for a few months. People that come into your life to teach or remind you a lesson. People that will be present for every birthday party, holiday, hospital visit, maybe they’ll stay, maybe they can’t, maybe they shouldn’t. People arrive in our life exactly when they are supposed to and leave exactly when they must.

I have learned throughout these years not to hold on to anyone. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word: ephemeral as something that lasts for a very short time. I think most friendships are ephemeral. They come and go, and I think that’s okay. I don’t see every single person in my life as a friend, for me to consider someone as my friend takes a lot of time. I see most of the people in my life as acquaintances, people that I know because we study or work together, nothing special. I like a lot of people and try to be as friendly as I can. Smile and be courteous because people deserve that. I’ve learned the hard way that not everyone is my friend. That I should be careful when it comes to friendships, and very selective. I believe in people, in the good that resides in them, and I consider myself as a fighter. I should however be more thoughtful with the fights I choose to battle and know which are worth the fight. If fighting for a friendship means ripping myself to shreds and piggybacking all their demons, I better leave. Because every now and then I’ll find people that don’t want to be fixed because being broken gets the attention they so desperately seek. and I should learn that I AM NOT A REHAB CENTER! That is not my job to fix everyone, no matter how much I want, how much I care or HOW MUCH I TRY! I can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue in their actions. That is toxic, sometimes I care too much and involve myself more than I should.

I want to say that not all toxic people are cruel or indifferent. Some of them will love us very much. Many of them even have good intentions. Most are harmful to our existence simply because their needs and the way they exist in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They are not inherently bad people, but they are not the right people for us. Although it is difficult, we must let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people that bring me down, and as much as I care, I can’t allow this situation to destroy myself for the sake of someone else. I must put my happiness first. Whether that means breaking up with someone I care deeply about, letting go of an acquaintance, or removing myself from a situation that feels painful. I have every right to leave and create a safer space for myself. I am allowed to leave toxic people behind. I am allowed to end friendships that hurt more than they help. Sometimes I will need to give up on people, not because I don’t care but because they don’t and it’s better to be healthy alone than sick with someone else. If I’m leaving know that I’m leaving for good.

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